#but scruff

[rotshop]

thank you princess celestia

[dible-png]

I think momo has a lot of fun messing w her powers (consciously or otherwise)

[lovelesskiaart]

Pick him up by the scruff

[stump-not-found]

Lab Negotiations.

Ford says he traded some teeth to get his lab from Bill, but the truth is a lot stupider than that.

Supplementary backstory for Step IV of Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat.

[kensatou]

the h in nhl stands for homoerotic

bonus intricate rituals:

[cloudberrytroll]

Namariiii

[superfinemen]

[sarin-somnisea]

being Such A Little Guy has downsides including not feeling included in the conversation. fortunately, there is a very easy way to fix this.

it is important you hold your Chilchuck at eye level every once in awhile.

[saphushia]

speaking of fucked up hermits. i made up a chronic illness for redstoners 👍

most of the other hermits have enough other fucked up shit going on with them that cancels out the redstone poisoning, so tango and etho are the ones with the worst of it. zed is susceptible to redstone poisoning too but he's a good boy and washes his hands so he's okay

[haleyusesherwords]

Gilear Faeth is doomed by the narrative in that he was supposed to be just Some Guy, but his daughter was so determined for him to be part of the narrative that he ended up with an ancestral curse

[stealingpotatoes]

I hope Aloy found some chappell roan databanks before those Talanah quests bc she NEEDED good luck babe

(commission info // tip jar!)

[sxs-blurry]

🎟️🎟️🎟️🎟️🎟️

[burn-gormans-eyelashes]

I got a revelation at 3 am...

[freenos]

I think it’s so interesting how Medea is the person Melinoe tends to discuss moral quandaries with, especially on her way to battling Prometheus.

[vanmarkus]

happy to report that there is zero respect in my gaze

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.